Impotence

I sit here in Los Angeles, completely impotent, watching the world disintegrate. With the Pandemic it was coming apart, with this impending war, it will explode.

What makes a man want to possess his neighbor so strongly that he is willing to destroy the world to have it, including his own world, which is next door?

I use the word impotent rather than helpless because to me impotence is a particularly infuriating form of helplessness that includes frustration, anger and total retreat. Embarrassment and surprise, both of which are parts of what I am feeling right now.

I am surprised, let’s say shocked, that this has happened. I am embarrassed that we can’t do more to stop it without causing worldwide damage.

Someone I love told me that they knew relatives of ours were going to be all right and it occurred to me how many times in the last couple of years I have “known that things were going to be all right,” and they weren’t.

Trump wouldn’t be elected. The Pandemic would be countered with our superior knowledge and nationwide cooperation.

Didn’t happen. The last five years have been constant damage control.
What is next?

Mari Sloan 3-4-2022